You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
