I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
