It's like God shit irony all over that family
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize