You just made me feel so damn special
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
