why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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