you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
