i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
