no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
