my vag is so smooth its legendary
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
