Four minutes until I can fart!
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
