Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
