i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
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I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
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Regret, thy taste is box wine.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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