You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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