the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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