God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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