then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
