I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize