ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
