but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
