Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize