did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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