i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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