I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Fuck appropriateness.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
