whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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