Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
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I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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