you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I need water and some morals
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
