I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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