Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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