I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
