it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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