so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
