A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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