wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize