It's Friday. Sex?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
