Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
