hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
