I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Green mimosas i think yes
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
