tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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