we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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