Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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