who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
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Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
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You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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