when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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