I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize