i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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