Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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