How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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