y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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