I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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