put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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