i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
