***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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