Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
