you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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