I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
