OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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