My room smells like vodka and shame
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
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