watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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