He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
