great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
