The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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