she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
